A letter to family and friends facing difficult times, 

When I was a younger adult and striving to get the things I wanted in life, I thought if I was doing things right, my life would be an upward trajectory. Maybe with a bobble or two, the line would generally go up and up and up. Now I see my life as many overlapping lines,  each varying wildly in peaks and valleys. Most days, it’s chaos and confusion, but also with many moments of clarity and joy. Learning to navigate and appreciate that contradiction IS the human experience.  But it certainly is discombobulating, to say the least.

You may feel you are ensnared in confusion and chaos because you are doing something wrong or somebody wronged you. Maybe so, maybe not, but blame is not what matters. Blaming yourself or others is resistance to what is so and that will keep you stuck in an ever-increasing spiral of negativity. The Buddhists call that samskaras,  formations in our minds that create habitual behaviors that may or may not serve us. “That which you resist, persists.” 

So what’s the action to take to move past the blockage?  Relax, and let it go. Relax and let the experience pass through you and out. Relax your grip and take your hands off the “wrongness of it all,” and let it pass. And as it passes, ask it what it has to teach you. Every challenge is the opportunity to grow, expand, and change toward our truest self.

Relaxing at the very time you are most pissed off or frustrated or despairing is likely the last thing you and your frustrated ego want to do.  I get it. Do it anyway.

I can tell you without a doubt that you have what it takes to meet the moment, if you relax first— and then lean in to your curiosity, your imagination, and your acceptance of the situation in front of you. Everything is energy. When you stop resisting, the natural flow of energy resumes and with it comes the next right thing like a breath of fresh air. It may be a tiny step, a small tweak, a slight shift in how you look at what’s in front of you. But as any sailor knows, shifting course even slightly will take you to vastly different lands. You can use your brilliant mind to either reinforce samskaras or you can use it to be curious and creative. Choose the latter. 

You need your curiosity and imagination and acceptance to see that the Universe is always working in your favor, even when it doesn’t look like it. The human experience is  all about growth and change. That’s obvious when you are going from a toddler learning to walk to a high school senior walking across the stage to get your diploma. Well, that growth and change never stops, unless you resist it.  If you want things to change in your life now that you are an adult, relax, let go, and let the Universe work in your favor.  Allow experiences to stimulate your curiosity and your imagination, and pass through. Allow yourself to grow and change to meet the moment. The Universe wants to help you.

But it’s not your timeline. You are but one three-foot by six-foot space of energy on this planet in a solar system of many planets in a Universe of millions and billions of planets and stars and universes. What is happening to you right now is infinitesimal compared to all that IS right now, and what is possible. Yes, what is happening may hurt and feel very personal to you and even lasting. But like the toddler who fell down and hurt her knee, you will stride confidently again. The time you think your plans should take is completely made up, and often if not always, wrong, and that’s fine. Make your plans, but be willing to let the vastness of the Universe’s possibilities alter your plans. Accept the possibilities of a  larger timeline, and be curious about every step along the way. 

Finally (for now), trusted family and friends are your life boat, your touchstone, your grounding. Michelle Obama calls her circle of women friends, her “kitchen table”, the safe place where she can vent her emotions and thoughts and know that they will be received and held with love and patience. Once all those thoughts and emotions are dumped on the table, you then have a choice what to take back into the world, or leave  there to be wiped off into the trash can because now there’s room in your energetic space to see something new and helpful.  Use your kitchen table. These trusted advisors, too, are working in your favor. 

I hope this provides some daylight between what you are challenged by and what you want. I hope this releases your grip so you can relax into your brilliant imagination. I hope you see beyond this moment in time to the you that is connected to  an indescribable vastness of Love and Light. It’s both out there and in you, working in your favor, if you let it.

Love, 

Mom C