The Case for Harmony
“Women, strive for life harmony. Work-life balance indicates the two parts are equal and they are not. Know what to say no to and strive for HARMONY - a pleasing arrangement of the parts.”
I used to be in the television news business, 24/7. Deadlines were my life. Busy was my watchword. I was known for “getting things done,” the poster child for “if you want something done, give it to a busy person.” Productivity= Success.
But what about happiness? What made me most happy in life was PEOPLE: collaborating, creating, building on each others’ ideas, mentoring, contributing to my team members’ lives, seeing them grow and accomplish their potential.
Happiness had more to do with being in service of something greater than the bottom line, ratings, or revenue. Being in service of a better life for someone else, in nonprofit work or mentoring or leading a project or just listening to someone’s story.
Over decades, I’ve read a trove of business publications about leadership, efficiency, productivity, organization, communication, leaning in, DEI, collective impact, collaboration, innovation. There is very fine work being done in the business space. I’m for it. Work is important for fulfillment, especially meaningful work. But how do you judge what is meaningful to you? What is the container of your life that work falls into?
For decades, my JOB was the container that my LIFE fell into. Work defined me. How I was doing in my job was how I was doing. Period. The insatiable machine had its way with me, and I was a willing participant, until exhaustion, resentment, self and family neglect, and boredom brought me to my knees. Identity crisis, divorce, near financial ruin--the works.
Then I learned how to listen to ME-- not to what others’ wanted me to be, or worse yet, to the Pretend Me grasping for approval and accolades. Now I embrace all the parts of my life-- work, relationships, creativity, play, service, spirituality--and know that a rainbow of emotions accompany a rich life. Fundamentally, I access my Inner Wisdom to navigate the events of my life and the full range of emotions that result.
My life is not comfortably balanced, with each area getting equal time and attention. Never will be; chaos and breakdown are part of life. But my life is harmonious, each role striking its note at the time and place that works for my whole life.
What I want for women now-- younger women striving for meaningful work and juggling family to older women transitioning into retirement or empty nests (but not irrelevance!) is full on ALIVENESS in every part of their lives.
I want every woman to take their full selves into every setting, every role, fully expressed with their kids, their boss, their neighbors, their community. And when the inevitable breakdowns happen, I want women to see they have the inner resources to prevail.
We all play different roles, but who we bring to each of those roles can be consistently true or chameleon to fit the audience. Choose the former. Then breathe and laugh often because deep breaths and belly laughs are the glue between all the roles of a harmonious life.